FIC Torchwood - Our Future

[fajrdrako_fic]

Title: Our Future
Fandom: Torchwood ficlet
Characters: Jack, Gwen
Challenge: theatrical_muse, things to look forward to
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, no claims, all property of the BBC.
Notes: Spoilers for Torchwood 1x13, "Exit Wounds" - Gwen's pov thoughts.


Our Future

The world, from time to time, turns itself inside out and then reasserts itself - and everything's changed.

Everything is different but Jack, and that makes no sense, because Jack should be the most changed of all: he's two thousand years older than he was six hours ago. Two thousand years, and he's the same. "I'm not quite the same," he said to me. "Nothing is static. Not even me."

Owen is dead. Yes, well, he was already dead, but now his spirit is gone. Funny, though, it isn't his spirit I'm remembering. I'm remembering what it was like when we were lovers. I'm remembering the touch of his hands, the way he laughed, the way he used to taunt me - and how wildly I responded. I'm remembering the expression on his face, when he came, and the way he made me feel reckless.

I'm remembering the way his skin smelled. I'll never meet that scent again. Maybe someday I'll forget, but I don't want to.

Tosh died bravely in Jack's arms and he wept for her. He loved her. He loves all of us. That comforts me, but it frightens me, too. In a world that is constantly changing, how can he remain the same?

I wanted to leave Torchwood. Jack didn't pressure me, but asked me to think about it. "We need each other," he said. He didn't mean just him and me, he meant him and me and Ianto.

The Torchwood survivors. We have each other.

I ought to go home to Rhys and tell him what happened but I don't want to leave Torchwood, not right now, not yet. There's something in the masonry here, in the tiles, in the thrumming electronics - they're all part of something that fits together, like Jack and me and Ianto and the future of the world.

Jack let Captain John leave. "After all he's done?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"He did his best," he said. It was both judgment and excuse. But what it meant had nothing to do with Captain John himself: It just meant that he didn't belong in Torchwood, not with us, not now. He didn't share what Jack, Ianto and I share. Even though he was there. He never loved Tosh or Owen. He just loved Jack.

I loved Tosh. I wish I'd said something to her about it. Done something. I don't know if she might have loved me or not, but life's too short to be afraid of loving someone. Now I'll never know what her kiss would have been like.

There are things I am looking forward to in my future:

Relationships without fear, knowing how easily loved ones can be lost, and love makes us all stronger.

Treasuring each day because each one is valuable.

Figuring out what my responsibility to the future is.